Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Life is but a Dream

Z and I got to talking last night about how funny life is. I sometimes wonder if death will be the same way. What's going on right now seems like it will last forever, but when it's over it seems like it never happened or that it was somehow all a dream.

As we were discussing all of the things that have transpired these past few weeks, there are some tender mercies that became very clear.

When I went in for my appointment yesterday, I had to have a mini-ultrasound and a non-stress test. At each one prior (I go in every week for one now), they have watched her practice breathing. She just been doing it when they've looked. Yesterday, she wasn't. They had to spend extra time waiting for her to do this. Thankfully, the next patient had had her baby the day before, so obviously wouldn't be there for her appointment. They could take all the time they needed with us without feeling rushed.

The other tender mercy was just the fact that I'm having these ultrasounds and on-stress tests. I had shared with my doctor about A and how the placenta had started to deteriorate early (when he was delivered 13 days early). At the time, she said they would start doing this kind of monitoring early on. When the time came for these to start, she said that we would start at 39 weeks; I think she had forgotten our previous conversation. It was the same day she set my induction for 39 weeks. Trusting her, we both realized that if induction was that day, they wouldn't be necessary. So, she left town, and they were never set up. It was the doom and gloom doctor that set them up for me. So, there was something good that came from him. I'm actually grateful for him and his conservative ways. It does my heart good to get a weekly image of just how things are going at this point. Glad not to be left in the dark.

These kinds of things make me aware that we are not alone. God knows our wants and needs and sets the stage for us. He wants Lachlan here safely and cares about her.


Devri said...

YOu are so right! We are never alone, and he understands and knows all. hugs to you and this is a beautitiful post!

Messy Jess said...

Countdown! I am so excited for you!

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