Putting the Baby in the Swing

I went to bed with a terrible headache last night and woke with it this morning. This is very rare for me. Sleep is usually the solution.

This morning, before Z left, he put G in charge of T and DJ took charge of L. Oh how I love my older children's capabilities and service in our home!

After some time, the house was quite quiet. I got a little nervous. The fact of the matter is, they had things in control. Whew! I asked DJ if L was asleep. She said, "Yes." I asked where she was. She replied that L was in the swing. At this point, I realized something about myself. I have rarely been one to let my kids fall asleep in a swing. I asked DJ to bring the baby up and put her in her bassinet. As I did this, I questioned why sleeping in the swing was such a big deal to me.

It occured to me that when I was between years of college and was home for the summer, I took a job as an on-call daycare worker in downtown Beaverton. I had worked at a daycare center everyday after school my senior year in high school and loved it, so this was right up my alley.

I was finally called in to work one day and was assigned to the infants. I walked in to find two other women working there. Swings with babies in them lined the walls. Being the newbie, I followed the other women's leads. They shared the "way things are done" with me. The babies, it seemed, stayed in the swing most of the day. They were taken out to be fed and changed and were then returned to their swings. I instantly felt sorry for those babies. It was so easy to follow the other ladies' lead. I hated it, but it was just the easier way to get along. After this experience, I hoped I would never trust my infant to a daycare center.

By afternoon, I could take it no longer. I didn't care what the other women thought. I started taking one baby at a time from the swing to play with him/her. There were a lot of them, and it was hard to split my time up with so many.

It's funny, but now, with my own children, if they're in their carseat or swing or bouncy, we call it "freeing the prisoner" when we let them out. That's how I feel about these devices. The poor baby is in prison unable to escape on his/her own; just waiting for the mercy of someone else. Don't get me wrong, they're all very useful, but over use is what I'm referring to.

So, as I thought of this brief memory from my past, I recognized it as a symbol for many things in my life right now.

There are many things that I "put in the swing." Things that I don't do because of another's example. I don't even consciously think about them. This is particularly the case in my home. If my husband doesn't do it, I don't do it.

I have decided that I'm tired of this pattern. I know what's best to do, so I need to do it. Even if an example isn't placed before me, I need to do what is right. No more using another person as my excuse. If it needs to be done, I need to be the one to do it.

Another example of this was a woman in my ward when I was growing up. Her husband was less-active, and from what I understand, they never married in the temple. They had a number of children; at least one of the boys was autistic, but every week, she brought the kids to church alone. She was very faithful, but I'm sure this wasn't an easy time for her.

Years later, while I was on my mission, I received a letter from my mom. She explained that this woman had shared her testimony in Relief Society. In this testimony, she told the women of the ward that during a lesson, something had touched her heart. She knew that she was only partly living the gospel, and in order to please her husband, chose not to do many of the things she knew would bless her life. She had decided that she couldn't deny herself of those blessings any more, so she was going to live the gospel to the fullest no matter what, regardless of her husband.

She did all that she could. She attended ALL of her meetings. She magnified her calling. She became a faithful visiting teacher and started to institute family prayer, family and personal scripture study and Family Home Evening. She did these things faithfully.

As time went along, her husband started to attend church and was given a calling. The changes in their life were remarkable. I remember driving home with my parents after they picked me up from the airport from my mission. Their home was visible from the main road on the way home. The entire house had a different appearance. It looked like someone cared about it. It was newly painted. The yard was well-kept.

As I remarked about this, my mom shared a bit more of their experience and told me that they'd been sealed in the temple not long before that time.

I share this story because it's just another example of putting things in the swing. I have fallen into this trap. There are a lot of things I am lazy about. I have decided that I don't do them because someone else should be doing them. If they're not doing them, then I'm not going to either. Is it my stubborn side? Is it my way of avoiding accountability? Well, regardless, I'm done with it. If it's the right thing to do, then I'm going to do it. I place so many of these things on others' backs thinking that they should be leading out. In so doing, so many things are getting overlooked. Things that should be blessing our lives aren't.

So, from today, if it's going to happen, I'm the one that's going to make it happen. No more waiting for an invitation to attend the temple. No more avoiding meetings. No more being too busy with other things so that personal or family scripture study doesn't happen. So what if other members of my family eat the wrong stuff--not me. If they don't clean up after themselves, why should that affect me? I will be the one to take responsibility for what I do, and I will do what's best. No more setting things in the swing and letting them ride all day day after day after day. Wish me luck.