Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I Love to Singa

Here's a favorite from my childhood. Enjoy!


Well, after looking at these photos, you can see who's into everything at our house. He has a few new words--owie, milk (which sounds like mocha--we'd just better be sure we're not standing near a Starbuck's when he's thirsty), food, and the biggest one with the broadest meaning is "on."

On means "in," "under," "out," and "up." It is the catch-all preposition.

Oh, this morning in the car he said, "Marco Polo." The explanation for this will be another day's blog entry.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Yippee! Yippee!

I don't go to the mall any more for many reasons. The main one being that I only like to shop when I feel thin. I don't really feel thin yet. No one really notices that I've lost any weight, but although I didn't feel like shopping today when Quinlan asked to go, I became a little more enthusiastic and encouraged as I tried clothes on.

I have dropped a size! I am now the size I was before I got pregnant with Aedan (that's six years ago). I like seeing the M on my tags instead of the L. I'm glad to be going the opposite direction of what I was. I thought I was fated to just get larger and larger.

So, although I usually don't shop for myself, I rewarded myself with a new skirt and blouse. Way to go me!!!

Life's Not What it Used to Be

Okay, so I think I have this hyperactive me thing handled. Life is a little more calm and under control because I'm training myself to do one job at a time and not get so distracted by everything else that presents itself. I realized that yesterday when I had a little peek into the past.

I have always been the kind of person who can't sit down. I used to hate being home and would use any excuse to run an errand. That has been trained out of me by living for a year in an old farmhouse at the top of a gravel road out in the country without close and convenient social contact and my six children--as more have come along, I have become a home-body. I now love being home and cherish every second I have there. I cringe when it's time to leave for nearly any reason. I've become a real hermit. I used to think it was because of genetics. I used to be my mom, now I'm my dad. I also think it's come from the fact that I'm very hard on myself when it comes to interactions with others. I'm too quick to rethink things and find my social faux pas. But that is all beside the point of what I learned yesterday and another day's blog altogether.

Here's how the day went...

  • I got up and ready for the day, family scriptures read, breakfast done.
  • Brevin had complained of a sore throat (again) the night before, so I told him he wouldn't be going to school the next day, but I would take him into see a nurse.
  • Quinlan and I walked Dierden to school.
  • Got home and got the house straightened a bit.
  • Took Gannon and Quinlan to school along with Griffin, Jared, Brevin, Aedan and Teagen (car bursting at the seams).
  • Took Brevin to Kaiser to get his throat swabbed at the nurse treatment room then took the sample to the lab. It was POSITIVE--Ugh!!
  • Turned in his prescription and left to go to Weight Watchers for the weekly weigh in.
  • Had a friend interested in joining as well, so I met her there. (Oh, amongst all this, I had forgotten Brevin's meds this morning, so I was dealing with a boy who was doing all he could to stay with the program--he did pretty well, considering).
  • My friend snuck into my house to get the meds and my grocery list (things I hadn't planned on when I left the house) and then met me at Weight Watchers. I took my three and her two and walked down to WinCo to get my massive list of groceries collected.
  • Brevin pushed Teagen in the stroller, I had my friend's little guy in the cart I was pushing, and the two little kids walked next to the cart. I learned from this experience that most kids are oblivious to other people. If they don't know your name, you really don't exist but are figments of their imagination or holograms or something because these kids are all across the aisle. That was the one thing I kept having to remind them of, "Someone's coming, please move out of the way for them." I should have recorded that message to play every thirty seconds. All in all, they did a really good job. I got quite a bit done.
  • My friend went to an orientation meeting, got all signed up (yeah a friend to do all this with! By the way, I lost another 2 pounds. I've lost 7 total!) She met me in the grocery store after her meeting.
  • After she collected her children, I looked at the time and found that I was supposed to be back at Kaiser for an appointment for Teagen. I called the central number for Kaiser, and the lady told me I still had ten minutes in order to get there. Ugh!!!

    • I hurried to the check outs and got my stuff all paid for. I cruised to Kaiser.

                    • I arrived late. They called up to the dr. She agreed to see us anyway. Whew!
                    • Okay, so very sad thing--I guess I'm out of the running for mother of the year again this year--sigh. They had Teagen stand on the scale to be weighed. He was thirty pounds. It was at this point that I remembered that I hadn't changed him this morning (Ugh!). I told the nurse she might want to weigh him again as I was sure there was a lot of diaper weight involved. Oh confessions. Sure enough, she weighted him again, and he was 29.4 pounds. Yeah Pampers!!! His footy pajamas were still dry, but poor kid to still be in those jammies at 11:20am.
                    • He got a shot; didn't cry at all, and we were on our way to the pharmacy to pick up Brevin's meds from earlier in the day.
                    • The pharmacist explained to me that these meds were to be non-refrigerated, taken three times a day for ten days, taken with food, and that they tasted nasty. Just what every mother wants to hear. Sure enough. Gag! Brevin fights them, which he has never done before. Zan made the mistake of putting all 13 mLs in juice this morning, which just made the juice taste nasty and drew out the experience. Oh joy!
                    • We headed back to WinCo.
                    • By this point, I have a three little boys who are beyond tired, and I just want to sit somewhere and stare at walls for an hour or two.
                    • I told the boys as we left Kaiser that I needed to use the restroom and would they please wait with Teagen while I'm in there. They agreed.
                    • As we approached the restroom, both boys declared their need to go too. I waited for them.
                    • When it was my turn, I reminded them to not move but stay with Teagen (and my purse). "Okay Mom."
                    • Okay, yet another mother of the year moment in my life...

                    When I came out, a WinCo worker was standing next to Teagen. She said, "Is he yours?" "Yes," I replied, a little pancked, "but where are my boys?" I couldn't see them anywhere. She looked around the corner near the exit door where all those rip off toy machines with the claws are and said, "Are those them?" Sure enough, there were my little angels pointing out which toys they wanted in the machine. Ugh! The day changed for me at that point.

                    I made the stark realization that maybe I AM the only person who can be left responsible for my children. Maybe I can't even stop to go to the bathroom. All promises made for treats were revoked. There went the trip. Aedan cried and cried bewailing his lost donut. Teagen cried out of exhaustion. I was spent.

                    • I finished the trip as fast as was humanly possible and got out of there. The joy of unloading the car and getting the groceries put away in the house loomed in the not so distant future. I got Teagen down for his nap first.
                    • When Zan and the older kids got home, we started packing for the beach. I was still stressed about the lack of responsibility of the younger boys and didn't realize that was what was affecting my mood so much. I was a GRUMP!
                    I learned from the goings of of yesterday that maybe I must really be meant to be a hermit. I can no longer run around all day long and come home and be happy and satisfied. I can't believe I used to do this all the time. Am I just getting old? They say for many situations in life you can choose to either laugh or cry. With days like this, is it any wonder I laugh so much?

                    Wednesday, May 21, 2008

                    The Continuing War on Scotch Broom

                    Okay, so check out this video. This is Zan's dad, my beloved father by marriage.

                    Really Scary

                    I went to the US Bank drive through ATM on Monday morning to make a deposit after dropping middle schoolers off. As we drove around to the back of the bank, we noticed the armored truck there getting the money out of one of the ATMs. Whenever we see one of these, Aedan comments about the fact that the "worker guy" has a gun. This fascinates him as he, like every other boy, wants a job someday in which he can carry (and use) a gun. Where does this sick fascination come from?

                    Well, the conversation started as soon as he saw the guy.

                    A: "Mom, if Dad took some of that money, would that guy shoot him?"

                    J: "Probably."

                    The car at the other ATM pulls forward, and I pull into position to make my deposit.

                    A: "Mom. Be careful!"

                    J: "Why?"

                    A: "Because if that guy shoots you, it would be really scary."

                    J: "Mm hmm."

                    A: "Cuz if he shoots you, then I have to walk home...all by myself."

                    Needless to say, I was very careful. Heaven forbid my five-year-old sweetheart should have to walk home alone if I were slumped over in the car bleeding to death. Thankfully we made it through our deposit unscathed by the guy in the bulletproof vest.

                    Saturday, May 17, 2008


                    We had our last soccer games of the season today. Gannon's team won. It was a great victory. It was fun to watch Gannon's reaction to other team members' goals. He'd run across the field from wherever he was and chest bump whoever had just scored. I loved the morale it built. Throughout the season, there was one team member who continually criticized his teammates. Gannon would come home from practices very discouraged, so I love how he helped overcome this negative influence with his positive actions today.

                    Zan and I went out tonight. We went and saw "Prince Caspian." It was a good show. Quinlan saw it last night and said how much she loved it. Zan and I went to Stanford's for dinner after the movie. I had the salmon. I only at a small portion of it and brought the rest home.

                    I went to Weight Watchers first thing this morning. I lost another two pounds, so they gave me a little star sticker with a five on it, to represent me losing my first five pounds. With that five pounds, I went down into the next bracket down for points. It took me from 22 points a day to 19. This was a bit discouraging to me. I was so cautious at dinner that, like I said, I only ate a small portion, but when I got home and figured it out, I still had five points left for the day. I found out that, all things considered, I could have eaten the entire meal and been just fine. Maybe I don't have that much reason to be discouraged. I just wonder how many points I'll be down to once I get near my goal.

                    Friday, May 16, 2008

                    You Read Me?

                    Ran into a friend today. We started to talk, and she said, "I know, I read your blog." For some reason this surprised me. My immediate response was, "Oh, you read me?!"

                    As I've been writing, I've forgotten that someone might actually read it. So, please know that all of this is written just so that I have some kind of record of what goes on day to day. It's not meant as any huge enlightening or entertaining experience. Dang! For that matter, I hope I don't offend anyone with what I write. I do tend to have strong opinions about many things, but what does the disclaimer always say? The opinions here present the opinions of the author. It does not necessarily reflect the views of...).

                    I hope you will know as you read that my intent is never to offend, so I hope you will forgive and just consider the source.

                    Wednesday, May 14, 2008

                    Really Random

                    I really don't have much to report today, so I'm just going to blither here.

                    Met with Quinlan's teachers this afternoon. We missed the last conference we could have had because Zan and I were in Utah. They were nice enough to schedule time to be with us at the end of their day today. It was great to hear that Quinlan's doing a good job.

                    I spent the day cleaning house. Went back to a system I used when I had three little children. So far so good.

                    Tomorrow I have to go get my driver's license. I had to wait for my birth certificate to arrive. I went ahead and orderd Zan's and a wedding certificate at the same time, so we're all official. I've heard those are good things to have in your emergency supplies, so it's about time we got them. I honestly didn't know we didn't have copies of them. I ordered them yesterday; they arrived today. I didn't ask for them to be overnighted; that was just regular mail.

                    Stake Young Womanhood Recognition was tonight. Quinlan was recognized as were two of her good friends from another ward. They had a video presentation that was really nice. There were twenty girls recognized and two leaders.

                    Dinner was really good tonight. I tried a new recipe. Teagen had about five servings. I also made a new banana bread recipe. That was really good too.

                    Tuesday, May 13, 2008

                    "Briar Rose" - If you're in a light-hearted mood, please don't read this.

                    I just finished the book we're reading for this month's book club. Since I'm in charge this month, I was allowed to choose what we would read.

                    Quinlan brought "Briar Rose" home from school as a class assignment. She told me it was a good book, so I, wanting to read it, used the book club as my excuse to take the time to read it.

                    After finishing it today, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I don't care for fiction. I have always been a non-fiction kind of girl. Even as a 2nd grader in the school library for my weekly visit, I chose biographies. I remember reading about Thomas Jefferson, Harriet Tubman, and others and learning of all the great and noble things they did. I felt uplifted and encouraged. Getting to the end of this book, I'm disappointed.

                    I have always felt strongly that things cross my path for reasons. Lately, Holocaust stories have become more than prevalent. Is this just me, or is there just more being released about that hideous time in world history?

                    The truth is, I don't want to read fiction about the terrors there. I don't want someone's made up story. I want the truth. I want to suffer with these people. I don't know why. I feel that they deserve our fellow suffering, our broken hearts for them; although it can't, I want to carry a small piece of their burden. To piece a story together seems to mock them.

                    By the time of World War II, my direct-line ancestors were here in American, but what about their siblings, their aunts, uncles and cousins back in the mother countries of France, Germany and Poland? Couldn't they have taken part in this massacre? It frightens me that human beings can become so inhumane.

                    I found out recently that my mother's people were more than likely from Poland. This is where the main interest of this story lies. My ancestry isn't Jewish, but worse, my ancestry is more likely those who stood back and watched or did the killing themselves. I hate to think of this. These people had to live with themselves for the rest of their lives continually tortured by their own thoughts, memories and nightmares.

                    As our world grows in anger and evil, what can I do to combat it? How can I save others from it especially my own children? How can we be on the side of those who stood up for the right and the good in the world and fearlessly, without thought of their own lives, sacrificed to save the innocent?

                    So, I guess this posting is supposed to be about "Briar Rose." Yes, I think it was a creative premise, but I don't want fairy tales. If we are to "prove all things" and "hold fast that which is good," I cannot recommend this book as such. I am nothing but sad and regretful after reading it. The tricky thing is that with the Holocaust, none of it was good. The only thing to be learned is to never let it happen again. We need to learn of it to avoid or combat any future possibility of it, but it is painful and sad, anything but good. It is something not to be "held fast" to. If we don't hold onto its memory somewhere, how do we learn?

                    About six months ago, the kids and I were driving through Washington Park. I showed them where Zan proposed to me, and we continued around the loop. On the other side, was a Holocaust Memorial. I didn't know such a thing was there. Knowing that this is a lesson that can't be avoided, we got out of the car and walked around it. It was gripping. We all felt the gloom that surrounded its existence even the littler kids knew this was here for a significantly bad reason because of the feeling that exuded from it. Dierden has made me promise that we will never go there again. I could only hope that in their lifetimes we won't in more ways than just walking around a monument.

                    Sunday, May 11, 2008

                    You've probably already seen this, but I love it!

                    No Nursing Home for Me

                    Thought I'd share some of the highlights from Mother's Day.

                    I was allowed to sleep in this morning. The family woke me around 9am with breakfast in bed--two eggs, two muffins (Lehi Roller Mills raspberry muffins--ooooh YUM!), a banana and a glass of milk. Doesn't leave me with a heck of a lot of points for the day (I try very hard not to use the extra allotment they give me), but it was sooo good. I could taste the love in every bite.

                    They left me alone to eat but were back soon and all climbed up on the bed. The craziness began as is usually the case when we're all gathered in one place. We decided yesterday that all families are weird in some way or another. Even the most normal family is weird, so I felt some solace in this. Our weirdness is just different from other families' weirdnesses.

                    As we all sat, laid, rolled, jumped, and fell off the bed, there seemed to be this subtle but continual chorus of, "Dad, can we do presents now?" The response started off as a quiet, "Not right now," but seemed to grow into a more hostile, "NO!" Within fifteen minutes, I found myself with cards and gifts strewn all around me. It was by far the largest Mother's Day haul I had ever encountered. Of the larger gifts were a king size Hershey's bar with almonds from D and the movie "Sense and Sensibility" from everyone. Mixed in were some real treasures.

                    A drew me a picture of himself, Z, T and me. He had written his name--first and last--at the top.

                    B colored me a picture of butterflies mounted on orange construction paper. He also handed me a gift bag. As it sat there rubbing against my leg waiting to be opened, I started to feel some cold, wetness on my hip. As I quietly made this fact known, B jumped up, grabbed the bag and yelled, "Ah snap!" We all bust out laughing. In it was an orange marigold in a yellow, plastic cup. He had grown it himself.

                    Just in case anyone was wondering...I "completely rock," or so the handmade family card said.

                    Each kid made me coupons. What would Mother's Day be without those? In them I was promised such things as massages, manicures, diaper changings for T (or in B's case, "dipper" changing--I didn't know T had a dipper, but if he does, I definitely want it changed), various household chores being done (some even said "without complaining"--an extra bonus). After I had read these, every time I asked someone to do something, G would laughingly chime in with, "Got a coupon for that?" I finally asked D to run downstairs and make me a coupon that would grant me permission to pinch G's bottom. She did; even without a coupon.

                    D wrote me a poem on beautiful paper she created:


                    loving, cool, funny, helpful

                    Mother of Q, G, D, B, A, Maggie and T (we all got a laugh out of the fact that Maggie trumped T, but D said Maggie was older than T)

                    Lover of animals, her kids, my dad

                    Who feels excited when her kids get good grades,

                    excited when her kids are kind to each other,

                    happy when we work together

                    Who needs a family, some friends, and lots of love

                    Who gives love, hugs and kisses, and presents

                    Who fears the dentist, bugs, and dogs licking her face

                    Who would like to see her friend Heather, her kids happy, and a BIG box of chocolate

                    B wrote this (At the top of the page in blue marker, is scrawled "Do not cry"):

                    My mother is special because...

                    She helps me with my homework. Buys me new clothes when I grow out of them. She takes care of me and my fmaily. When I am sick she stays home with me and my dog Maggie. When I am hurt she helps me and asks if I'm okay. She makes me a list of stuff to do after school. She lets me make oatmeal by myself. When me and the kids in my family go to sleep over at a friend's house she lets someone pick what house. When she comes back she brings us a t-shirt. I love my mom because she makes me food and my family. She lets me play on her computer at home. She washes my clothes. I love my mom because she is special.

                    D also made me a card on notebook paper folded in half with "Happy Mothers Day Mom!" written in bubble letters on the front. Inside, it says, "Hey mom. Have you guess what the big surprise from me is? If you haven't hurry! Love, DJ P.S. I love you and would never leave you in a nursing home."

                    Ahhh! Life is good. My future is secure.

                    Nothing Like a Little Love at Home...

                    Week in Review

                    We rearranged the kids' rooms this week. At this point, I think we're really happy about. We have decided to see how things go with this arrangement and then make a decision by August about who will be with whom and in what rooms.

                    Teagen, I've found, is now repeating everything we say. Quinlan is now known as "Q-ie" or sometimes "Q-ie you-ie-you-ie." He watches Gannon's every move while he passes the sacraments on Sundays and calls out "Annon." He also recognizes Griffin and Jared, whom we take to school each morning as they're passing. They have names also, but I haven't pinned them down yet.

                    Aedan had preschool here this week. On Thursday we had all the mom's come for a Mother's Day celebration. Aedan woke up saying his tummy hurt and was very pale on Tuesday, so we changed school to Wednesday. On Wednesday, the boys made invitations for their mom's to come to Thursday's get-together. Aedan presented his to me about seven times before Thursday's party. You would have thought Thursday was Christmas morning.

                    We did school from 9:30 to 11:30 and then the mom's arrived. We had bagels, berries and juice; we read the book that the boys created; and we played a great games of musical flowers (same as musical chairs). Each boy planted flower seeds in two cups--one for his mom and one for anyone else he wanted.
                    Aedan learned the sounds for "n" and "o" this week. At school on Thursday, we were reviewing the calendar for the day. I asked the boys what day of the week it was; they, seeing the "T" on "Thursday" said it was "Tuesday." I turned to Aedan and said, "Look at the beginning sound." Aedan responded with the "th" sound. The boys immediately shouted out, "Thursday!" This reading manual is really good. We're on lesson 24 out of 100.
                    Brevin scored four goals at soccer yesterday. He was the lucky recipient of a new room with no roommate. I thought he'd be a bit scared after always sharing a room, but it seems like he's really enjoying it.
                    Dierden has become the family photographer. When I uploaded the photos this morning, I was surprised to see my own face in a number of them, but Dierden was bemoaning the fact that she was nowhere to be found. This is a job we're going to have to learn to share.

                    There was a court of honor this week, and Gannon was advanced in rank. I feel very behind on this scouting thing and am not really sure what we as a family are supposed to do to help him.
                    I went to school with Gannon and Quinlan on Friday. It was the "first annual" take your parents to school day. I LOVED it! I spent most of the day with Gannon. He is a crack up! At one point, in math class, we got done taking "our" quiz, so we had some spare time. He pulled out a piece of notebook paper, wrote the name "Steve" on in it, and drew a stick figure. He then instructed me that each of us could only draw one thing at a time. I immediately drew an ice cream cone in his hand--priorities, you know. He drew a beanie on his head. It went from there. Steve ended up being a giant homeless person in New York City attired in burmuda shorts and fuzzy slippers with a party blower in his mouth and a parrot on his shoulder. He was equipped with his very own giant shopping cart to carry his six pack of coke and box of Cheerios.
                    Quinlan is back in with Dierden. This just seems to be how it was meant to be. They get along so well. Such different personalities, but it's nice to see them be such good friends. She seems to be the neighborhood and ward animal sitter. She has had someone's pet to take care of pretty much continually since mid-April. At this point, she's feeding the nextdoor neighbor's cat. Such an animal lover!
                    Zan seems to be continually busy. This job is just much more intense than any he's had before. I'd love to see him coach one of the kids' teams, but he's afraid to commit to that for fear of not being available for practices. He does step in when needed from time to time. Maybe someday he'll coach his grandkids. He had Quinlan come to his school after school on Wednesday. He helped her with some of her math homework.
                    As for me, I've been kind of quiet about it, but I started Weight Watchers last Saturday. After looking at the photo of the court of honor, I feel justified in doing so. I know I'm not grossly overweight, but just enough so that I don't want to head down that road too much farther. There have been a couple girls in the ward that have secretly inspired me--they don't know that I know that
                    they do Weight Watchers and they look GREAT! My goal is to lose thirty pounds, which will put me down to my weight in college. I went in and weighed yesterday. I had lost 3.5 pounds. I would have been happy with two. I have two real reasons for joining. One is that I want to learn to eat right. The second I can't share here and now but will in the future.
                    Becky Gibbons (I want to grow up to be just like her) has been very patient with me. She has invited me to do aquaerobics with her for months. I finally went with her on Monday night. It was such a good workout. I think I'm hooked.

                    Wednesday, May 7, 2008

                    What Makes Your Mom Special? Ugh!

                    I taught preschool today. We are preparing for a Mother's Day celebration tomorrow. In anticipation of this, we are making a book to read to the mom's when they come to celebrate with us. As I prepared the boys for the making of their pages, I asked them to think of something that makes their mom special--"maybe something she does for you."

                    I went around the circle and asked the boys for some examples. Nearly every boy said something about his mom making his bed for him or his mom cleaning his room. When I got to Aedan, he said, "She sets the timer for me."

                    No one but me knew what this meant.

                    The timer is set, so Aedan has a time limit in cleaning his room and making his bed. Yep. This makes me special.

                    Tuesday, May 6, 2008

                    Ross Identified

                    Went with a few of the Young Women tonight to see the Aloha High School band concert. We have two girls that play in band. It was very fun. I'm hopeful that Quinlan will be extra encouraged to band next year after tonight's experience.

                    On the way in, I asked one of the girls if Ross Barfuss' body had ever officially identified (see April 10th post "Ross?"). She said that the family had been contacted when the body washed up; they described the clothing they found on the body. At that point, the family had verified that those were his clothes.

                    Coincidentally, when I walked into the house tonight, Zan said, they've identified the body as Ross'. It was on KGW tonight. They had to wait for the DNA testing to be complete, which took nearly a month (his body was found on April 8th, exactly a month after the drowning).

                    Monday, May 5, 2008

                    I'd Love Your Ideas!!

                    I'm trying to organize life here. The kids rooms are all clean and organized as is my own, so that's a real plus. That has gotten done in the past couple weeks.

                    But, I still have a garage that needs cleaning out, textbook reading and school assignments due, emegency preparedness stuff that needs to be put in order, a learning to read book hat I'm doing with Aedan. I have photos to scan for my dad and for Christmas presents. I'm wanting to continue blogging here and on the Book of Mormon site as well as keep up with my own site. I'm also trying to keep track of what we eat and exercise more.

                    These things are joined by everything that needs to be done daily--making sure the kids are happy, cleaning, dishes, laundry, cooking and so many other things.

                    This all brings Elder Oaks' talk about "Good, Better, Best" to mind, but I'm just not sure how to implement it and still feel like I'm accomplishing all that I want to. Being such an all or nothing kind of person, I want to do it all now. At this point, I'm working with Excel and making a spreadsheet and cutting it down into smaller bites. Then I just need to make sure and do the plan.

                    I know so many people who just have it so together, or at least they seem to. Do you have any tricks that make all that you do more doable? What motivates you to do it? Please share. I'd love to be able to learn from you.

                    Sunday, May 4, 2008

                    Urgent Care

                    The kids went to the Beasley's on Friday night while Zan and I went out (to Hakatamon--wonderful Japanese food and to get Zan a new suit--an overdue birthday present).

                    When we got back, Christy told me that Brevin had been complaining of his throat. He's not a complainer, so I know it's got to be something when he does. I checked his throat after getting home, and his tonsil on the left side was touching his uvula (punching bag thingy--at least that's what my brothers and I called it when we were kids). He was complaining of not being able to "swallow my own spit." Oh no! That can only mean one thing in my mind.

                    I called Kaiser. Their advice nurses are so nice! The nurse told me I'd better take him in. By this time, it's after 10pm. I really had only called to get some advice on getting him through the night, so we could just skip over to the Beaverton clinic at 10am this morning. She said with the tonsils being so swollen and him not being able to swallow, it was emergent, and I should get him across town to East Interstate.

                    Being as sleep deprived as I was (dang the previous night's insomnia!), heading over was a scary drive. I kept the window down a bit and made sure to sing to the radio (I love that my kids don't complain). We got there and waited forever. I read "Hoot" to Brevin. This cute 6th grade girl sitting with her dad listened along and when we had a break between chapters commented on how it's one of her favorite books. That started a nice little conversation. Aren't kids the best?!

                    I fell asleep for about five minutes in the waiting room. It was enough to invigorate me through the ride home--thank goodness!

                    We got into an exam room finally sometime around 1am. The doctor walked in and said, "Brevin! I have a Brevan at my house. You're the only other Brevin I've ever met." This made for instant rapport. He took one look at Brevin's throat and declared it as strep. He said, "I don't care how that culture comes back; it's not going to change my treatment." He was gone within five minutes and asked us to wait a little longer. I told Brevin to lay down and go to sleep for a little while. He obeyed.

                    A nurse came in a little while later with a small tray with two small cups of red medicine. It was very difficult to get Brevin to wake up to take them. He'd been on the verge of snoring. I finally sat him up, he took them, and went immediately back to sleep.

                    With Teagen's fever and strange behavior two days before this, I asked for a prescription for him too. They obliged. He's been just fine for the past day--no fever and not as much grumpiness, but not appetite either. With him unable to communicate his pain, I would rather be safe than sorry, so he's now got his antibiotics too. I was grateful not to have to go back in this morning and go through all this again with him.

                    The great thing about Brev is that he's allergic to penicillin and cephalexin, so they go straight to the good stuff with him. No messing around with those that might not work. He was already feeling better this morning after only the one dose at the hospital. Yeah!

                    When it came time to leave, I practically had to carry Brevin out, he was so asleep. He cried when I woke him. As we approached the elevator, he cried out that he had to go to the bathroom. I sent him in staggering, and it took him so long that I thought he might have fallen back asleep in there. Thankfully, he finally emerged, and we were on our way home.

                    When we got in, we both climbed straight into our beds. I didn't think at this age I could stay awake for 24 hours like I sometimes did in college, but surprisingly, I held up alright. Not that I want to make that a common practice. One thing I noticed was a strange feeling in my brain as I laid down. Do you know that feeling when you drink something cold and you feel it go practically all the way down into your stomach? Or that feeling when you lay down after a busy day on your feet and your body just kind of melts into the mattress with gratitude? That was the feeling in my brain last night--complete release and relaxation. Ahh.

                    Saturday, May 3, 2008

                    Running on Fumes

                    I didn't get a post written yesterday. I already wrote about how much sleep I got two nights ago, but I was up night before last from 2:30am on and then ended taking Brevin into urgent care last night at about 10pm and returned home around 2:30am. So, needless to say, I'm a bit tired. I got to sleep in until about 8:00 this morning, so I'm off and running. I'll be sure to post a bit more today and report on the urgent care visit. I'm going to Weight Watchers today, so I'll write about that too. Got to go pick up some meds for my boys. More later.

                    Thursday, May 1, 2008


                    Teagen started the day yesterday with a fever of 103.5. We tried a number of things to bring it down, but it never went fully down to normal.

                    He woke for scriptures and breakfast, which he didn't touch. As he sat at the table, I noticed how bad his eyes looked, took pity on him and put him back to bed at about 7:30am. Woke him to take Quinlan and Gannon to school. He was silent and unmoving in the car. I took him back in the house and put him to bed again. He slept forever. He wouldn't drink until Dierden got home from school and was making hot chocolate and was inspired to make some for Teagen too. He downed that in no time flat.

                    I woke to Teagen's cries four times last night. He's been pretty continuously fussy day and night. Very unusual for him. I've never had a really fussy child. I joke around that had I, I probably would have ended any thought of adding to our family any further. I figure Heavenly Father wanted us to have a big family because He never gave me any reason not too. Not in the form of unpleasant pregnancy or fussy, colicky baby or terrible twos. I admire those women who go through anything and everything to have and raise children. Zan used to say that I didn't really serve a mission because I didnt' have to sleep on the ground or under a mosquito net. I guess you can say the same about motherhood for me. Obviously, Heavenly Father knows me well and knows my limits. Can you say wimp? He's treated me well. I have no complaints. Boy am I going to be accountable someday!

                    We gave Quinlan a real-life educational experience today. Knowing it was going to be a rough night to go with the rough day that had just passed, before going to bed last night, I spoke with Zan about the chance of him taking the morning off to help oversee Teagen while I taught preschool just in case he awoke with the fever again. Zan said there was no way he could take the day off, but that maybe I could see if Quinlan would like to. Quinlan loves school, so I thought the chance was pretty slim on that. I asked her anyway, and she decided that was something she could do.

                    She was very helpful. Teagen slept for the first part of preschool, so Quinlan got into the act. It was great! I would honestly LOVE to homeschool my kids, but with a hubby that works for the public school system, what kind of message would that send. Anyway, as Quinlan read to the kids and interacted with them, I thought of what a great experience this was for her. I took her to school in time for lunch, math and science. She didn't complain in the slightest about going. Just whose kid is this? Man, any reason to miss school when I was her age, was greatly welcomed.

                    Teagen had no fever today, but he still doesn't look himself--hooded eyes and thick and unending amounts of saliva coming forth and down his chin. He's still really fussy and inconsolable , so he must be getting some major molars in. That's all I can think it is. I was glad that just the day before when I had taken Aedan in to see the doctor I had asked them to check Teagen's ears to see if his last ear infection had cleared up. It had, so I knew that wasn't what was plaguing him. I removed a saturated shirt from him this afternoon, and he took off. He followed the kids out to the backyard to play basketball. Dierden told me later that "Buddha boy" was out back--shirtless, so I sent a shirt out to Gannon to put on him. That's what these photos are. You can see that his eyes just aren't his usual.

                    Grocery shopping that was already half a week overdue. I finally buckled and shopped online at Safeway.com today. It's a bit more expensive than Winco (everyone is), but I started shopping with them when my leg was broken. They now send me postcards for free delivery from time to time. When I have one of those and life is chaotic enough, I buy from them. There was no other way to do it this week. The groceries arrived around 7:00 this evening. Yippee! I'm so grateful for this service.

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