Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Letter

The following is a letter written to the Oregon Department of Revenue Suspense Unit ["Suspense," I'm sure, because they hold you in "suspense" as you wait for your tax return]:
We are responding to the disturbing letter dated 2.23.10 which indicated that, in essence, you don't believe our 2009 tax filing because of the size of our family.  Specifically, we have seven children.

Your letter requests that we provide you with evidence that they exist and that they spend the majority of their time with us in our home.  

Below are the full names, date of birth, and Social Security numbers of our children.  These are the same names and dates and Social Security numbers that have been used for tax reporting since their births:

Name                                     Date of Birth                          Social Security Number
Q R Hess                                                   
G S Hess                                                     
D J Hess                                                              
B A Hess                                                   
A J Hess                                                         
T A Hess                                                  
L J Hess  
In addition, we have provided copies of all of their birth certificates.  You may find it interesting that all of them were born in Oregon.  Don't you have records of this??  

In addition, you will find the "Office Index Card" for each of our children who attend school.  For obvious reasons, the two youngest who are three and 8 months respectively, do not attend school. 

In addition,  please find a few pictures below of our children in different settings including time this past summer in Seaside and from our time in Yellowstone this summer.  We are happy to provide more pictures if needed, demonstrating the fact that these great kids live with us 24/7/365--including soccer games, basketball games, music concerts, pack meetings for scouts, Boy Scout court of honor pictures, church events, a picture of our 12 passenger vehicle purchased this year to drive our family around comfortably.   

If additional proof is required, we are happy to bring them by personally and let them spend some time in your offices.

In addition, I would be happy to invite Mr. Jeff Barker, Oregon State Representative and our next door neighbor to write a letter of reference indicating that he has seen AND heard our children regularly throughout the year. 

Lastly,  I am disappointed that the Oregon Department of Revenue has policies in place that challenge the integrity of solid, honest families who work hard to make Oregon great.  Furthermore, I'm even more disappointed that you feel obligated to have such a policy which must have come about due to the dishonesty of some. 

If the provided information is insufficient, please let us know.  We are enthusiastically awaiting our refund as we are anxious to invest our money in our family. 


P.S. Have a nice day.

Some pictures for your review:
Seaside  - July 2009

Yellowstone – August 2009

December 2009 – Christmas at the Beach House

Please disregard Grandma, Grandpa, K Hess (sister), S Hussey (Nephew), the two dogs, Santa and Mrs. Claus.  These individuals do not live with us to qualify as exemptions.


Grace said...

Good for you Julie! I am glad you posted this. It is amazing to me what some states just assume?!

Unknown said...

PERFECT! I still think you should drop them off at the state offices with slurpees and no-nap status. Good Grief Oregon!

vaxhacker said...


I'd love to hear what response you get to that!

Rachel said...

Love it! How pathetic that it had to be written!

Alyson said...

I think you handled this beautifully, given how idiotic their request was.

Molly said...

This is perfect! Oh my goodness I can't wait to hear a response!

Joey said...

Careful, the IRS doesn't like snark. They may ask for blood samples, an in-home visit, and a log of guests...give me a break. Good for you!

Joey said...

We'll be in Oregon for Meghan's wedding! We'll see you all then (if the IRS hasn't arrested you!)

Kimberly said...

ahahaha oh Julie...this made me laugh hysterically! I forwarded it to Sean to read while at work to lighten his day :) Nicely written!

sbjforumman said...

Julie. Depending on how they respond to this letter, I have written you a second letter as a response. Please see the following....

Dear representative

In light of a recent letter from your office, I am writing to obtain proper documentation from you. You see, I am not convinced that you are a real entity, properly incorporated and registered with the federal government. Furthermore, although rumors of the Oregon Department of Revenue may be true, I have no proof that you in fact work for the said office. Please provide ample documentation to satisfy this homeowner’s needs. This should include, but not be limited to, pictures of yourself in various locations of the building to show that you do in fact spent the standard 8-5 at the alleged office. Please see the following list for all requested documents
-articles of incorporation with the state of Oregon
-corporate documentation with the federal government.
-several pictures (ideas include, you standing in the breakroom, you with your boss, you in front of the building with proper signage, you inside of the building in front of a clock at 8am and again at 5pm).

You can understand that a mother of 7 doesn’t simply take a person’s claim at face value. Proper submittal of the above documentation will certainly expedite our ability to acquiesce to your request.


Mother Hess

sbjforumman said...

PS, in case you're wondering who randomly posted this on your blog it was Sean (husband of Kimberly).

Hesses Madhouse said...

Sean, I LOVE it! That's the BEST! Maybe I could get you some work out of it too. Maybe we could ask for some DNA sampling from the agent's immediate work area just to guarantee that he actually exists as well.

Joey, can I get you to sign the visitor's log when you come? It might be helpful, but it also might get you on the IRS's most wanted list. That's okay, though, I can vouch that Z's a good cell mate. Can't wait to see you guys!

Patrick and Paige said...

That is awesome. Good for you Zan...I love it.

Memory said...

I LOVE it!!! That was great. I would love to see the face of the person who reads it. Ha!

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