Hello?

Is anybody still out there? Have you all lost interest all together because of my lack of blogging? I have been choosing sleep over blogging lately--just tired a lot of the time. I never realized how much sleep time I was sacrificing to blog therapy--but man was it worth it. Pregnancy at age 40, I've decided requires different sacrifices. Sleep is just one of those things I am compelled to participate in right now.

So, here's the big scoop. This baby's been cookin' for 20 weeks now. Hard to believe we're half way. It's gone by sooo fast. Today is the big gender-exposing ultrasound. We're all very excited here. I figure, when we know, I'll change the color of my background to match. If it remains green, you'll know the little one didn't cooperate.

Here's my hang up. My last three children have been boys. This is the family I was raised in--two-girls, four boys. Kind of a nice little set up.

At this point, I have to be super honest. I'd LOVE to have a girl. Here's my reason. If it's a girl, I know I can feel that we're done and complete. I want to feel that way no matter what. I'm now, I feel, too old to have more kids. Having not felt that "we're all done" feeling yet (I tried to convince myself after T just for the reason of age alone, but quite honestly never felt it), I'm not sure what it's going to take to feel it. Maybe I'll just feel it no matter what, but I think if it ends up being a girl, I will feel done, done, done.

Please don't get me wrong. I would LOVE to have a boy too. I will welcome any child that comes our way. I'm also hoping that it's just healthy, but since I've had this girl's name for the last three children and can't think of a boy's name to save my life, it would be really nice to finally bequeath this name on someone.

So, please know that I will be happy no matter what. I'm just sharing my honest silliness (oooh that could be a really good subtitle to this whole blog).