Whew!!!

So many things to learn....

I got an email from Kaiser last night and thus read the results of the blood test run for fifth disease. I emailed my doctor (or the one acting for my doctor while she's out of town) to make sure I was understanding what I was reading.

It looked like the worst case scenario--recently exposed with no antibodies present to protect against the disease and thus protect the baby from possible heart failure and miscarriage. I read it to Z, and he agreed that it sounded like the worst. I would be happy to share these results with you if you know how to interpret these kinds of things. As I look back at them even now, I'm not sure of what they're saying.

As I went to bed last night, I was worried. I have received blessings through the priesthood since this pregnancy began that have been very positive and encouraging. Yet, I still hope that I am doing my part to see these come to pass--that I am being wise and faithful.

Before I went to bed, I realized that I hadn't yet read my scriptures for the day. I turned to where I left off--1 Nephi 17:25. I don't usually stop in the middle of chapters, but for some reason I did the other night.

In this part of the Book of Mormon, Nephi is talking to his brothers, and yet again, trying to persuade them to do what is right in the sight of God. Oh, I mean, he was talking to me.

He shares that the children of Israel were led out of bondage by Moses. I love that he says something along the lines of "and we know that this was a good thing." He talks about how the Red Sea was parted for them, the Egyptians were drowned, they were fed manna, and Moses clave the rock for them that they could have water to drink. They were led every day. It was evident. Yet they still hardened their hearts and sought for more when the going got tough. They were insatiable in their desires to God.

Woah! Is this to me, or what? I felt very chastened. I AM fed manna daily. He leads me and give me evidence of His existence daily. I KNOW He's there. I know He loves me. There is no question in my mind, but how quickly I am to become Laman.

My dad called this morning. He never calls (or I guess rarely would be fairer to say). I think the last time he called me was about six months ago or more. I call him. My mom was always that caller. I was surprised. It was 7:30am. I was just about to walk the kids out the door. He asked how I was. I told him, "Okay." He responded with, "Just okay?" He said he had a number of things to talk to me about and to call him when I had a minute. I told him I was walking the kids out the door, and I'd call him in a few minutes.

It worked out perfectly, G's home because he had a fever yesterday, so he stayed with the little boys, and I walked DJ and B to school. I called my dad on the way home, and we talked the entire way--just me and him; no interruptions.

I believe that everybody needs someone in their lives who is going to give them the straight scoop no matter what. Someone who doesn't worry about hurting their feelings, but lovingly tells them what's what. That has always been my dad for me. After he remarried, this person disappeared, and we became more like acquaintances. Today, he was back; just when I needed him (tender mercy).

He told me the things he needed to, and then I shared with him my new worries. He reassured me that I was worrying about things that I didn't need to. Then, in his patriarchal wisdom, he told me that I needed to petition the Lord to ratify the priesthood blessings and bring them to pass on my and Lachlan's behalf. This was just what I needed to hear; something proactive that I could do.

After hanging up the phone, I went back into the house. I think I paced out in front of my garage door talking to him for about 20 minutes--I had nearly worn a path. If you wonder about the newly formed moat at the top of our driveway, you'll now understand.

I went straight up to my room, locked the door, and got on my knees. I did just what my dad had advised. After saying "amen," I felt great peace and comfort.

I got up, and the phone rang. It was Kaiser. The nurse on the other end told me that she was calling with my test results. She said that the test had come back negative--I had the antibodies against fifth disease. For a moment I thought I'd better clean my ears out to make sure I was hearing correctly. She followed that up with, "So there is no worry about you harming this little one with this in anyway."

I hung up the phone and got back on my knees.