Thursday, May 28, 2009

Ponderings About Nothing Much

Forty more days!!! I'm taking five off for good behavior (and induction), so let's just call it a nice round 35, shall we?

Life is crazy as school wraps up. Can't wait to have the kids all home. Unless Lachlan arrives a bit early (quite a bit), there's a huge chance that not all the kids'll be around to see her that first night. With camps going on, either Q or G will be gone. That makes me sad, but I am determined that life needs to go on.

I got a phone call from the woman in charge of the 5th grade party up at the elementary school. I contacted her months ago and told her I wanted to volunteer to help and to put me "wherever you need me." Must have been 2nd trimester words. I know I have to be there for DJ, but putting me wherever is no longer an option. Maybe I should say, "Put me somewhere where there are no sharp objects" because I'm sure I'm going to pop. DJ is the one kid who's had more than one teacher during her elementary career who didn't want parent volunteers. This always makes me feel a bit suspicious. I'm sure they have their reasons, but it makes me wonder if DJ thinks I made the choice not to volunteer in her class.

Z was asked last night if he'd come along on a scout overnighter on June 26th and 27th. This made me laugh. I said, "You said no....Right?" There have been times in pregnancies past when I've packed up all our stuff for moves when I was eight months pregnant and Z has gone on scout high adventures and other outings. Those were days when I was much more adventurous (foolish). I'm no longer a pioneering kind of woman.

My first five pregnancies and births, Z only took the day of delivery off. We had my mom or my mom by marriage or friends there to take care of us once we got home from the hospital. It has been a wonderful blessing to have such great women in my life. I still think, in one way or another, that my mom comes to take care of us.

With T, Z actually took two weeks off of work. I LOVED it, but I as I listen to what's going on in the house through my closed bedroom door, I start to feel that I am not nearly as capable an individual as he is. He runs the house and kids as if he did it everyday. I feel useless, but to be honest, sometimes it's nice to be useless.

This time, we haven't even discussed what's going to happen. It's almost comical how unconcerned I am about things. I hope I'm not kicking myself later. The kids'll all be home, which I can see as being good and bad. Z says he's going to take some time off, which'll be easier with no kids or teachers at the school to have to deal with. I'm wondering if the house'll be crazy with all the family in it for that long. How will they all learn to be quiet again? They have to relearn that every time a baby's brought home. This all just seems to surreal. Whose life is this really?

We've discussed the 4th of July. Each year we have our traditions. I would love to see those carried on without me and the baby. I really want life to go on as usual. Plus, a day without the family here wouldn't be so bad. We'll see what Z decides to do.


Jana said...

I love reading your blog. I have 5 kids and after I brought them each home, it was nice to see that my other kids were able to adjust to the new baby. It didn't take long but it happened.I hope all goes well for you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Alyson said...

Just five weeks! That's so exciting. Ooh I know what you mean, I'd have a hard time sending kids off to camps knowing the baby could come any time and they might miss the birth!

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