Saturday, May 24, 2008

Life's Not What it Used to Be

Okay, so I think I have this hyperactive me thing handled. Life is a little more calm and under control because I'm training myself to do one job at a time and not get so distracted by everything else that presents itself. I realized that yesterday when I had a little peek into the past.

I have always been the kind of person who can't sit down. I used to hate being home and would use any excuse to run an errand. That has been trained out of me by living for a year in an old farmhouse at the top of a gravel road out in the country without close and convenient social contact and my six children--as more have come along, I have become a home-body. I now love being home and cherish every second I have there. I cringe when it's time to leave for nearly any reason. I've become a real hermit. I used to think it was because of genetics. I used to be my mom, now I'm my dad. I also think it's come from the fact that I'm very hard on myself when it comes to interactions with others. I'm too quick to rethink things and find my social faux pas. But that is all beside the point of what I learned yesterday and another day's blog altogether.

Here's how the day went...

  • I got up and ready for the day, family scriptures read, breakfast done.
  • Brevin had complained of a sore throat (again) the night before, so I told him he wouldn't be going to school the next day, but I would take him into see a nurse.
  • Quinlan and I walked Dierden to school.
  • Got home and got the house straightened a bit.
  • Took Gannon and Quinlan to school along with Griffin, Jared, Brevin, Aedan and Teagen (car bursting at the seams).
  • Took Brevin to Kaiser to get his throat swabbed at the nurse treatment room then took the sample to the lab. It was POSITIVE--Ugh!!
  • Turned in his prescription and left to go to Weight Watchers for the weekly weigh in.
  • Had a friend interested in joining as well, so I met her there. (Oh, amongst all this, I had forgotten Brevin's meds this morning, so I was dealing with a boy who was doing all he could to stay with the program--he did pretty well, considering).
  • My friend snuck into my house to get the meds and my grocery list (things I hadn't planned on when I left the house) and then met me at Weight Watchers. I took my three and her two and walked down to WinCo to get my massive list of groceries collected.
  • Brevin pushed Teagen in the stroller, I had my friend's little guy in the cart I was pushing, and the two little kids walked next to the cart. I learned from this experience that most kids are oblivious to other people. If they don't know your name, you really don't exist but are figments of their imagination or holograms or something because these kids are all across the aisle. That was the one thing I kept having to remind them of, "Someone's coming, please move out of the way for them." I should have recorded that message to play every thirty seconds. All in all, they did a really good job. I got quite a bit done.
  • My friend went to an orientation meeting, got all signed up (yeah a friend to do all this with! By the way, I lost another 2 pounds. I've lost 7 total!) She met me in the grocery store after her meeting.
  • After she collected her children, I looked at the time and found that I was supposed to be back at Kaiser for an appointment for Teagen. I called the central number for Kaiser, and the lady told me I still had ten minutes in order to get there. Ugh!!!

    • I hurried to the check outs and got my stuff all paid for. I cruised to Kaiser.

                    • I arrived late. They called up to the dr. She agreed to see us anyway. Whew!
                    • Okay, so very sad thing--I guess I'm out of the running for mother of the year again this year--sigh. They had Teagen stand on the scale to be weighed. He was thirty pounds. It was at this point that I remembered that I hadn't changed him this morning (Ugh!). I told the nurse she might want to weigh him again as I was sure there was a lot of diaper weight involved. Oh confessions. Sure enough, she weighted him again, and he was 29.4 pounds. Yeah Pampers!!! His footy pajamas were still dry, but poor kid to still be in those jammies at 11:20am.
                    • He got a shot; didn't cry at all, and we were on our way to the pharmacy to pick up Brevin's meds from earlier in the day.
                    • The pharmacist explained to me that these meds were to be non-refrigerated, taken three times a day for ten days, taken with food, and that they tasted nasty. Just what every mother wants to hear. Sure enough. Gag! Brevin fights them, which he has never done before. Zan made the mistake of putting all 13 mLs in juice this morning, which just made the juice taste nasty and drew out the experience. Oh joy!
                    • We headed back to WinCo.
                    • By this point, I have a three little boys who are beyond tired, and I just want to sit somewhere and stare at walls for an hour or two.
                    • I told the boys as we left Kaiser that I needed to use the restroom and would they please wait with Teagen while I'm in there. They agreed.
                    • As we approached the restroom, both boys declared their need to go too. I waited for them.
                    • When it was my turn, I reminded them to not move but stay with Teagen (and my purse). "Okay Mom."
                    • Okay, yet another mother of the year moment in my life...

                    When I came out, a WinCo worker was standing next to Teagen. She said, "Is he yours?" "Yes," I replied, a little pancked, "but where are my boys?" I couldn't see them anywhere. She looked around the corner near the exit door where all those rip off toy machines with the claws are and said, "Are those them?" Sure enough, there were my little angels pointing out which toys they wanted in the machine. Ugh! The day changed for me at that point.

                    I made the stark realization that maybe I AM the only person who can be left responsible for my children. Maybe I can't even stop to go to the bathroom. All promises made for treats were revoked. There went the trip. Aedan cried and cried bewailing his lost donut. Teagen cried out of exhaustion. I was spent.

                    • I finished the trip as fast as was humanly possible and got out of there. The joy of unloading the car and getting the groceries put away in the house loomed in the not so distant future. I got Teagen down for his nap first.
                    • When Zan and the older kids got home, we started packing for the beach. I was still stressed about the lack of responsibility of the younger boys and didn't realize that was what was affecting my mood so much. I was a GRUMP!
                    I learned from the goings of of yesterday that maybe I must really be meant to be a hermit. I can no longer run around all day long and come home and be happy and satisfied. I can't believe I used to do this all the time. Am I just getting old? They say for many situations in life you can choose to either laugh or cry. With days like this, is it any wonder I laugh so much?


                    Rachel said...

                    Oh Julie! I thought I was the only one who had days like that! =) Sorry, I am trying not to smile.
                    I have always admired you for the calm way that you handle things with your kids and a sometimes hectic life. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

                    Tonya said...

                    Julie...I appreciate that post so much! By the time the school called me on Monday all I could do was laugh or I was going to have to be admitted to the rubber room:0)It gives me great relief to see that I am not alone in having really crappy days! Luckily good days are much more common, but this post makes me feel like I am NOT alone in having hard times. Yes, I will go to the pool on Wed. I had fun too!

                    Breezy said...

                    Julie, I think if you ask any of us we would never think we could win Mother of the Year. However I have seen your kids and they are happy, content, and healthy. I think you do an incredible job. There are days when we'd all just love to steal time to ourselves to breath and recoup the constant drain that motherhood can bring. I still relish even the idea of going to the bathroom without Greyson banging on the door. But then as you know the days come when you can't imagine anything different.

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