Okay, help me understand this. I will be as vague here as I can be and will use no names in order to protect the innocent--and also because I don't know their names.
As many of you know, I am not married to a little man. I mean he can be picked out of any good crowd on a bad day. For those of you who don't know, my husband is a school administrator.
Here's the situation...
Yesterday, I get a call from the hubby asking me to bring him a new shirt. Strange request. No? Says he's been spat upon and needs a change. I'm thinking, "What?!"
He gets home last night and shows me his shin. It's got a huge bump and bruise and tells of the situation. I cannot share all of the details, but a kid went ballistic and a number of the school staff were present to take care of the situation. None of them got away unscathed.
Today, hubby gets the news that the parents might sue for abuse. What?! If anything, knowing my husband, the gentle giant, he should be suing this kid for the abuse he took.
Another story...
The school district is now using a new computer software that checks students' compositions and essays for plagiarism. Sounds like an amazing program.
At another school in the district, a student's paper was checked and found to have 65% of its contents stolen from other works. Mother comes in with her son to meet with the principal, to discuss this issue, and sides with her son when he says it was all his own words. COME ON!
All I have to say is WHAT IS UP WITH PARENTS THESE DAYS?! Yah, what's up with the kids, but are we, as parents, so blind to our sweet little children that we can't see when they're pulling the wool over our eyes? For heaven's sake, people!
As many of you know, I am not married to a little man. I mean he can be picked out of any good crowd on a bad day. For those of you who don't know, my husband is a school administrator.
Here's the situation...
Yesterday, I get a call from the hubby asking me to bring him a new shirt. Strange request. No? Says he's been spat upon and needs a change. I'm thinking, "What?!"
He gets home last night and shows me his shin. It's got a huge bump and bruise and tells of the situation. I cannot share all of the details, but a kid went ballistic and a number of the school staff were present to take care of the situation. None of them got away unscathed.
Today, hubby gets the news that the parents might sue for abuse. What?! If anything, knowing my husband, the gentle giant, he should be suing this kid for the abuse he took.
Another story...
The school district is now using a new computer software that checks students' compositions and essays for plagiarism. Sounds like an amazing program.
At another school in the district, a student's paper was checked and found to have 65% of its contents stolen from other works. Mother comes in with her son to meet with the principal, to discuss this issue, and sides with her son when he says it was all his own words. COME ON!
All I have to say is WHAT IS UP WITH PARENTS THESE DAYS?! Yah, what's up with the kids, but are we, as parents, so blind to our sweet little children that we can't see when they're pulling the wool over our eyes? For heaven's sake, people!
I guess coming from an educator's wife and daughter-in-law's perspective, I've heard so many things about parents backing and protecting their children when it's so very evident from everyone else's perspective that the kid is wrong or has a problem that needs to be dealt with. We are doing our children no favors by siding with them or ignoring what we're being told. We are depriving them of some very important lessons. Man, I mean, wouldn't you rather have them learn it now from people who love them and want the best for them than when they're adults and have to be told the much more painful lesson from a police officer or a judge?
I'm sorry, but when my kids are wrong, they're wrong. If a teacher comes to me and tells me one of my kids is having a problem, which has happened more than I'd like to admit, I listen and try to come up with a plan of action with that teacher. I want help from that person who spends a good part of his/her day with my kid and has studied these things and learned from the school of hard knocks in many cases. I know, having seen my husband in action and the time in the evenings when he worries about his students and loses sleep over them, that a teacher or administrator doesn't call us to pick on our kids and make our lives hard. I would think this is the hardest part of their job--to have to call parents and confront them about issues with their kids. Why can't we see this and why do we ignore them or debate with them? Ugh! I'm sorry this just frustrates me sooo much!
We can say, "What is wrong with kids these days?" But, I'm afraid in many cases the answer is evident, "Their parents."
Okay, so I'll step off my soapbox now.
11 comments:
The apples don't fall off the grape vine...if you know what I mean! AAAAAAAMEN! I hope all goes well with the out-o'-control kid with the ignorant parental unit. Been there, done that...everything went fine due to witnesses, and everyone knowing thatthe parent was in need of some serious life-training.
My answer for you? It is easy to be a bad parent. It is tough to be a good parent. Most parents want to give their child a "strong self-esteem" w/o the "self" part being engaged.
"Here, Honey! Look how smart you are! The paper I wrote for you is so grand!" (barf!) Kids need to learn the value of so many traits that are seen by many in society as 'weaknesses'...society is a poor educator...not to be mistaken for the "school-of-hard-knocks".
Middle school admins/teachers rock! Don't let the goobers getcha down, Z!
I hope things get better, there thinking of sueing a gentle person. Well I hope they change their minds, and I hope everything else gets better for you!!
Have a nice weekend!
I don't even know what to say--- what is wrong with parents these days?! I see (to a much lesser degree) some of this with piano students and parents from time to time. It is so sad! These kids are going to grow up thinking that the world works for them exclusively and what a rude awakening they will have-- eventually and only if mom and dad don't continue to fix everything for them. Hope this gets resolved quickly-- hope you took some pictures of the bruises just in case you need them!
This is a hot topic for me as well, Jules. I see it time and time again and it's always been disturbing to me. I've shared with you a little about when my oldest was being bullied by a girl in 6th grade. The mother of this girl was awful to deal with.
We live in a society where we think we have rights, that we should get whatever we want. That directly reflects things like this.
Wow - what a day! I hope Z is ok. I agree picts would be in order in this one, as well as for any other staff that were involved.
I hope that parent will come to their senses before anything icky happens, but if it does, sounds like there were enough people around to be witnesses.
Z is such a calm,gentle person - others are nuts if they think they can get away with such garbage.
We worry so much about kids' behaviors - but it usually comes right back to the parents/home they come from. Everyone these days wants to be their kids' "friend" instead of their parent - they are getting themselves into hot water as well as the rest of society who has to take the brunt of those kids'/parents' behaviors and actions.
Hope today goes better and next week. It will be nice to have everyone home for a couple of weeks to re-group and get some rest during winter break too. Hope all goes better.
I am so with you! If my kids plagiarize, I want to know and I'm going to kick their butts myself! And if my kids go postal and abuse others, by golly they're going to apologize and take the consequences, without me threatening to sue (which IMO is a pre-emptive strike so the kid won't be expelled or suspended). Perhaps there are no more schools left for this "choice" young individual to be expelled to?
Oh, man, what a nightmare. Small comfort it may be that such a lawsuit would probably not make it very far with so many witnesses and the circumstances you described, but sometimes against all common sense they still do. Either way, lots of opportunity for pain and damage along the way. I'm sorry Z's caught up in that mess. Truly there are few giants of men as kind, gentle and well-intentioned as Z, and I know I'd trust my children to his care without reservation.
But to the broader point you mentioned, it does seem like these "entitlement" sentiments are getting more prevalent (or maybe I'm just getting old enough to whine about "these kids today"). Bah. Why, in my day... wait, on second thought, I'm not going there.
This reminds me vaguely of the time I was on crossing guard (or "safety patrol" as we called in back in the day) at my elementary school. This was a great volunteer opportunity for fourth/fifth graders to go be the crossing guards (around here apparently they use adults to do this). I remember vividly how shocked I was one time when a boy illegally crossed through our crosswalk and was politely corrected by my partner to stay in the crosswalk and wait for us to stop traffic first, per the rules. This kid's mother, who was a few feet away laid into the crossing guard, (another fourth grader, remember) with violent, vitriolic threats and intimidating language about just what he could do to himself (or would have done to him) if he ever dared to tell her kid to do anything. (Including, apparently, to obey school rules and traffic laws.)
What, exactly, is the lesson supposed to be that these "parents" are teaching their kids about behaving in society?
That "free country" means "do whatever you please" and it's ok to sue or threaten anyone who gets in your way because you might get away with it?
Kids today, I'm telling you...
If the boy sues, I would totally counter sue! That is so aggravating. My husband's best friend is a teacher and we are all totally in synch with you...why do parents side support their kids' misbehaviors and idiosynchrasies? It amazes me. It teaches them such dishonesty. Grrr. I'm totally with you in this.
I could write for days on this subject. Unfortunantly my sister married one of these kids whose mother thought he could do no wrong and needless to say those experiences carry through with them right to adulthood. I love my child with all my heart but I know he will make mistakes and I know those will be the situations in which i have the opportunity to teach him. I am so sorry for educators out there, they have such little respect and have to deal with such difficult situations.
What is wrong with parents these days. No wonder their kids are monsters. These people need to take some lesson in proper behavior. It amazes me kids will misbehave, and parents will side with their kids no matter what.
I think there was a story on 20/20 recently about a teacher catching kids cheating and the parents getting HER FIRED. It's ridiculous. If kids aren't doing the work, they should be held back, given an F, or whatever.
You think the parents would want the best for their child. Instead they don't care as long as their kid passes. It's outrageous.
Gosh, I feel so sorry for your husband and everyone who has to deal with rotten kids and rotten parents. Really, something needs to change when the decent people are getting sued by the people causing the problems.
This is why I am NOT a teacher. They have to be so much more than teachers these days. They have to be father/mother, counselor, friend, nurse, coach, etc. They don't get enough support from parents, nor do they get paid enough. I am so sorry to hear about Z's situation. He is one of the most kind hearted people I know. I think the biggest problem is that parents both work in most families these days and don't even know their children. So very sad.
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