Friday, July 15, 2011
I'm sitting here just hoping my kids don't walk in the room right now. Tears are rolling down my cheeks, and I can't do anything to stop them. My kids think I don't cry--EVER. Oh how wrong they are! Actually, in my first area in Japan, the night before I transferred to Yamagata, I was given the name "Nakimushi" by the ward members, which means, "Cries easily." I tried to be tough, but when something touches me deeply, it grabs my throat and the tears just flow. I can't help it. Believe me, I've tried. I'm not a loud crier, I just get a little wet around the face, that's all.
Today, if payments are made, I will have sold 100 cookbooks. I honestly can't believe this.
This is all just an exercise of faith. Three nights ago, I told the Warden's cousin that there was no way I could go with them. "No way!" Those were my very words. Now, here I am looking as money comes in from some very generous, kind people--my friends. Wow! I can't express my feelings here.
I'm not a for sure deal; there is really so much to be done. One bad move, and I'm out of luck. I just have to keep pushing on.
Today, I have to continue typing in recipes (I'm hoping to be done within the next 48 hours). I also need to go to the county seat and get a copy of my marriage certificate. After that, I'm taking a bit of a jaunt over to Costco to get my photos taken for a passport.
I'm living on the edge here. So much is at stake. Here, all these people are putting their trust in me. The timeline is tight. Just trusting God. If this is what He wants me to do, it will happen.
Really. Whose life is this really? I'm in complete shock.