To Blog or Not to Blog

Any of you who really know me know that I'm not the kind to put on a false front. I'm pretty much a face value kind of person. What you see is what you get. Sometimes I think this must embarass people who are around me, but I really don't have any idea of what appropriate is, so I think most people realize that and forgive me for it. Thank you! I wasn't raised by upper crust people, just simple folk who lived day by day and were happy doing so. So, there you have it.

I received some news the other day that threw me for a complete loop. I'm still reeling from it, and probably will continue to for a long, long time. I realized today that I either needed to mention it here, as it will probably affect the tone of a lot of my posts--not quite as upbeat as usual (at least I like to think that I'm usually upbeat), or I needed to stop blogging altogether until I can come to grips with this. I hate that thought, so I hope I don't chase you away with a bit of a changed attitude.

At this point, I'm not willing to share any of the details. I have seen friends go through some really hard things, and I've felt like I have kind of gone through unscathed--no majorly hard times for me. I have watched them bravely face and handle all that's come their way. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I've wondered if Heavenly Father thinks I'm too wimpy to handle hard things. I guess it's my turn to prove myself. I want Him to know that I can handle it, and that I can do it with a cheerful face. As you can tell by this post, I'm not all geared up with my cheerful face on yet, but I will get there. Just a few more prayers.

As I faced the possibility of this new trial in my life, I laid in bed one night praying to know who to talk to that would understand. It became very clear that my former mission companion was that person. It was amazing! I haven't been in touch with her since mission days and now can't even remember how we got back in touch with each other, but we've been blogging buddies for the past few months, and it's been amazing how similar our paths in life have been in all those years. I followed the prompting to talk to her, and it was miraculous! She knew my heart. Another tender mercy in my life. Thank you for being there for me, Alyson!

One of the good things I can see coming from this is that it's brought Z and I closer together. He is the one person who can hold me and tell me it's all going to be okay. I'm grateful for a good man in my life.

It has also been miraculous to see God's hand in all this. The timing of this is remarkable, and I look forward to sharing all these details in the future. Please be patient with me; I'm a work in progress.